The 0% chance game + Miedema/Walters

Morning all.

I had a dream last night about a goalkeeper with no arms. I’m guessing it’s got something to do with how Vicario will play tonight in the game I just can’t bring myself to watch. I don’t know what I’ll do, but I can’t endure it whatever happens. If City win as easily as I think they will, that’s not worth sitting through. And if by some miracle Sp*rs get themselves in a position to take something from the game, the stress will be too much.

There is still something to play for after Aston Villa’s highly chaotic and entertaining 3-3 draw with Liverpool last night. My favourite bit was when John McGinn, who routinely clatters around the pitch like some kind of giant-arsed Angus bull on PCP, took exception to the fact someone gave him a bit back in one challenge. Moaning and bleating at the ref until he was told to shut up. Sure, he might have a cracked rib, but it was a great example of a lad who loves to dish it out but can’t take it.

It looked like Liverpool were going to win quite easily, but one silly mistake swung the momentum back in Villa’s favour and they scored a couple of late goals to take a point. I watched Unai Emery on the sideline, and while I can acknowledge he is doing a very good job at Villa, I just cannot take him seriously at all. He’s clearly a good coach who is getting a lot out of these players, but I think I’m still too traumatised by his time at Arsenal – which wasn’t all his fault I should add – to do anything but look on in a kind of weirded-out wonder. Maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, that result means that it is still possible for Sp*rs to finish ahead of Villa, if results go their way – starting with tonight. Except for many of their fans, a win is anathema to them if it helps Arsenal win the title. People say ‘What if the situation was the other way around, how would you feel?’, and there’s probably something to that – but it would mean that Sp*rs are challenging for the title on the final day and we don’t deal in ridiculous fan fiction here. Let’s try and stay vaguely grounded.

Big Ange is certainly not of a mind to lay down and take it from Man City, saying:

I understand rivalry. I was part of one of the biggest ones in the world in the last couple of years with Celtic and Rangers but I’ve never, and will never, understand if someone wants their own team to lose.

Real success looks like trophies. Anything else in between, bragging rights, whatever it is, is absolutely meaning­less to me or anyone involved with me. We’ve got a game we want to win.

Which might be of some small comfort to Arsenal fans during the day, the idea that they will be taking this game seriously, but I think we all know what’s going to happen. Romero, a man whose brain consists of an empty box with another empty box inside, will forget to mark Haaland in the 9th minute, allowing City to go 1-0 up. Then Foden will score a goal that looks good but when you step back and view it objectively you realise there’s no way he should be scoring it, and then that’ll be that. James Maddison will be thinking about being the Yorkshire Pudding King at his family’s Sunday roast, while the motley excuses for midfielders they have will get the runaround from Rodri who will barely have to break a sweat to do it.

See, I’ve saved you the time later. There is simply no way Sp*rs can get anything from this game. Quote me on it. Zero. Nada. Nothing. Minus infinity opportunity for them. 0% chance.

And that’s 100% fact.

—

Elsewhere, the big news around Arsenal Women is that Vivianne Miedema is leaving the club in the summer. The announcement was made yesterday, her next destination is unknown publicly but I suspect is going to leave Arsenal fans a bit unhappy, but for more on what she did in red and white during her 7 years at the club, Tim has an excellent tribute piece over on Arseblog News that’s well worth your time.

Meanwhile, Art de Roche reports for The Athletic that Reuell Walters will leave the club this summer:

Understand Reuell Walters is set to leave Arsenal at the expiry of his contract this summer

Was offered a new deal but declined. 1st team exposure now needed. Being monitored by clubs in PL, Championship Germany, the Netherlands, Spain, Italy & Belgiumhttps://t.co/zU3PIAB2uh

— Art de Roché (@ArtdeRoche) May 13, 2024

I don’t think that’s really much of a surprise. He did make the bench with some frequency in the past, but that was as much down to the paucity of options at the time. He is primarily a central defender, and when you look at who you have to compete with at Arsenal these days, you can understand why a young player would choose to depart for the potential of more regular playing time elsewhere. Best of luck to him.

Ok, let’s leave it there for this morning. Join us on Patreon later for a look back at the weekend’s Premier League action in The 30.

More here tomorrow.