Middle-Earth Enterprises And Friends Is My Favourite Publisher

We all have a favourite publisher – a splash screen that when you see it, you know you’re about to experience a quality product. Or maybe you like a publisher because they continuously support projects that you care about. Devolver Digital, Team17 and Annapurna come to mind. However, perhaps the greatest publisher of all time is undoubtedly Middle Earth Enterprises & Friends.

The publisher has a rich history, having been incorporated approximately three days ago. This powerful publicly-traded entity was crafted in the fires of Mount Doom, Stockholm by the Dark Lord Wingefors. Not content with his lone Embracer Empire, the Dark Lord unleashed an unholy schism, scattering his evil agents to three sides of the industry. Our unholy ruler is employing one of the darkest tricks in his arsenal – delegation. His disciple Phil Rogers will lead Middle Earth Enterprises & Friends into a new age.

The Lord Of The Rings: Gollum Has Been An Unmitigated Disaster

They hates it.

Everyone needs to pick a side and, in my personal opinion, Middle Earth Enterprises & Friends brings a fresh, new look to mass acquisition and restructuring, read: layoffs. We (note: I say ‘we’ because ardent supporters like me are a massive part of the team) got some serious heavy hitters in the big schism – Crystal Dynamics, Warhorse, Eidos-Montreal and others.

Kingdom Come: Deliverance, a beloved cult-classic RPG, which was so lovingly brought to life by Warhorse and publisher Deep Silver, is now under our sphere of influence. They should consider themselves lucky they’re getting to make a sequel to their game. We had the perfect soulless Lord of the Rings pitch lined up for our friends in Prague – the player was going to run the Prancing Pony in Bree, serving dead-eyed regulars, navigating the complex political relationships between Man and Hobbit, and of course, grinding out resources for better barstools and such. It would have been glorious. However, we’re allowing them to make their silly little sequel – be grateful for Swedish kindness.

A Golden Age For Middle-Earth

After all, the Lord of the Rings IP has been a resounding success under the stewardship of Lord Wingefors. Sure, Lord of the Rings: Gollum had a couple of minor, insignificant problems (the media loves to nitpick), but wasn’t Gollum adorable? I just want to pinch his papery little cheeks. And if you crash and lose your progress, that just means you have more time with Gollum. There is zero downside.

Or what about Return to Moria? The people were practically crying out for a paper-thin generic survival game that bastardises the rich Dwarvish culture that Tolkien crafted, and our Dark Lord Wingefors provided. I particularly enjoyed being assailed by a roaming pack of wolves every 10-20 seconds. Tolkien wrote, quite famously, that Moria has a thriving wolf population. Fans want authenticity in their adaptations.

Middle Earth Enterprises & Friends is also responsible for Lara Croft, one of the most iconic characters in gaming. She’s an explorer, a fighter and a seasoned adventurer. Most of all, Lara is a survivor. That’s why we’re happy to announce the next mainline Lara Croft game will be a survival-crafting procedurally-generated adventure through the ancient tombs of Egypt. This one’s a moneymaker.

Thank you Middle Earth Enterprises & Friends. We love you, Middle Earth Enterprises & Friends. There is no struggling against the tide of Middle Earth Enterprises & Friends. Yes, we know Gearbox and Saber fled at the first opportunity but those companies don’t have the bravery of those who remain. Your favourite games and beloved characters are in good hands. It’s time to embrace it.